The Single Best Piece of Advice I Got in 2025
Why hello!
Here's the legit best thing I learned last year:
It applies to workouts, health, careers, love, friendships, family dynamics—pretty much all of it.
It’s also the reason new year's resolutions don’t work for most people
(it's not because they’re lazy or undisciplined).
Ready?
Don’t create excess potential with your goals, desires, or intentions.
Full disclosure: I got this advice from a book that changed my life this year—Reality Transurfing (highly recommend!).
Which leads us, dear reader, to the logical question:
What is excess potential?
Excess potential is what happens when you place too much emotional importance on something— wanting it too badly, or fearing it too deeply.
That emotional imbalance creates pressure.
Pressure creates resistance.
Resistance creates… nothing happening. Or worse, the desire actually pulls away from you.
Or, in woo speak: nature always balances. Ecosystems. Electron affinity. Chemical bonding. Your life.
It’s called excess potential because it describes stored, uneven energy created by over-importance.
Let me give you an example most of us have seen once or twice. Or… several times. (I’m using this one because I think it’ll translate immediately.)
A friend (or maybe you) goes on a handful of dates with a new person. It’s going well.
She’s having fun. She’s present. She’s not thinking too hard about it.
And then—almost without noticing it—something shifts.
She starts projecting forward.
She imagines a future versionof the relationship.
She starts scrutinizing communication for deeper meaning/intent.
Maybe she even tries his last name on in her head. Just for fun.
And at almost that exact moment… something shifts for him as well.
He retreats, goes quiet, maybe ghosts entirely.
👆This, my friends, is a textbook example of excess potential.
Too much pressure—on a person, an outcome, or yourself—creates resistance.
Resistance creates avoidance.
Here’s the uncomfortable but useful part:
Nothing actually changed in that scenario… except the emotional weight placed on the outcome.
When we stay present—when we engage naturally, without inflating the future—things tend to unfold just fine. But the moment we start assigning meaning, jumping ahead, or putting something on a pedestal, we make it heavier than it needs to be.
And this applies everywhere:
Turning a workout into a referendum on your discipline/worth
Treating a career move like it has to solve your entire life
Making a habit feel so important that you can’t even start (!)
Putting pressure on relationships to be something right now
Demanding that a child comply in a way that basically guarantees rebellion
(the parenting version of excess potential... very familiar for some of us!)
So let’s play this out in fitness terms.
Let’s say you swore off carbs starting January 1.
Okay—actually January 2, because you needed something absorbent for the hangover.
Diet starts tomorrow! Or the next day?
Now your plan is to work out six days a week for an hour each day, walk 3–6 miles every morning, and cut sugar, alcohol, joy, and prob your social life. (I know this sounds like a really exaggerated example, but trust me, people, friends and clients talk to me and this isn't that far off the mark!)
Suddenly, the goal is now out of your reach—you’ve put it on a pedestal.
You have to do this—or you’re a failure. (Hot tip: this is an excellent way to guarantee failure.)
You’ve created massive excess potential around what should be a very run of the mill, very human journey toward health.
But what if instead you approached it like this?
Stop treating the goal like it has to change your life .
No single thing will change your life.
It’s a series of choices, habits, and behaviors that do that.
Instead of deciding that this next move, habit, or decision has to fix everything—
Just take the next right step.
Send one email instead of mapping your entire career.
Move your body because you’re working on a smaller goal (full push-up? Pistol squat?) instead of turning every workout into a moral decision.
Take ONE action without demanding certainty, validation, or guarantees.
No pedestal/No drama/No pressure. Just natural forward motion.
And that concludes everything I have to say about goals, New Year's resolutions, and staying accountable to yourself. Onward.... 😉
xo,
